Why it's hard for me to watch basketball anymore.

As soon as I started typing out the title to this post, I immediately felt like an old fuddy-duddy.
I used to love basketball. I have played basketball for years in church leagues, AAU leagues, high school, etc.
I'm not very good, but I'm not very bad either. The point is, I used to love basketball. I grew up watching Bird, Parrish, The Dream, Dr. J, The Mailman, Magic, Isaiah, etc.
To me, watching those guys play was exciting. And I didn't need the public announcer screaming the players' names after every made basket, or the pyrotechnic displays, or the incessant sound effects and noise pumping every frigging second. THE GAME itself was the sideshow, the opening act, the headliner, and the finale.
Today, if I was to go to an actual NBA game, I would be surprised to NOT see a bearded lady, or the incredible stretching man, or some other freakshow attraction. It seems that the game has taken a backseat to nearly everything else.
I don't know if it's because our attention span has gotten so short or what, but I wonder what it would be like if there weren't guys shooting balled-up t-shirts in the stands during time outs. Would people stop coming to the games?
It's not like an NBA game lasts 4 and a half hours or anything.
Seriously. You don't see this in most of the other "main" sports out there. Imagine the same circus show that the NBA puts on every game, and apply it to the Masters golf tourney.
Imagine after Tiger sinks a 30 footer, some 67 year old white guy grabs a microphone and screams, "Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooods!"

It's just stupid.

But I'm off track already. The MAIN reason I find it difficult to watch basketball anymore is because I've lost a feel for the game. The game itself has transformed itself to something I can't even identify with, and that's the problem.
First of all, it would be more appropriate to call it baskootball (a combination of basketball and football). It's ridiculous how physical it's gotten. Now I know that it was just as physical back in the old days, and I get that. I remember Bill Laimbeer and the Bad Boys of Detroit. But that was the exception to the norm as far as the rest of the teams go. Nowadays, if you don't rape your opponent on the court, you are considered "soft".
I have heard that word thrown around so much recently, I want to shoot myself. The Lakers have recently been accused of being "soft" in the first two games of the 2008 Finals.
I heard Stephen A(hole) Smith last night, saying that in the first two games of the series, the Lakers were way too soft.

In other words, the Lakers were still playing basketball, and they needed to start playing more baskootball.
Next time you watch an NBA game, don't follow the ball. Just concentrate your eyes inside the painted area under the rim. It's ridiculous. Then, throw in the officiating, and the joke is complete. The refs watch as limbs are amputated and don't blow the whistle, but then turn right around and call a ticky tack foul, almost like the whole game was scripted. Donaghy anyone?

The bottom line, is that this new brand of baskootball allows NO room for finesse. But don't get me wrong, I don't want ALL finesse. If that were the case, I'd be a WNBA fan, but I'd rather have explosive diarrhea than be a WNBA fan.

It just seems to me that the basketball I grew up watching had the perfect balance of finesse and brute strength. Not one more so than the other.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready to finish my metamucil and watch Jeopardy!

Derek