Belated F3W

Sorry for the delay. Usually, this segment runs on Friday, but due to unforeseen circumstances, it was delayed until today.
Because it was delayed, I decided to bring it strong.

Enjoy:

Burnin Up The Set (BUTS)

It's that time again kids. Time to map out the parts of your weekend that are "Relationship Friendly"...and those that require some alone time (You, a High Def big screen and some adult libations...alone with each other!)

Friday June 27th:

Arena Football - Wild Card Playoffs, New York at Dallas, 7:30 p.m., ESPN

Boxing - Super Featherweights, Breidis Prescott vs. Juan Carlos Rodriguez, at Fort Lauderdale, 10 p.m. ESPN2 (Tape delay)

Golf - PGA European Tour, Open de Fance (Translation "The French Open"...2 years of high school french!), Paris, 9:30 a.m. The Golf Channel.

Champions Tour (aka "Geritol Tour"), Commerce Bank Championship, first round, East Meadow, N.Y., 1 p.m. The Golf Channel.

U.S. Women's Open Championship, second round, Edina, Minnesota, 3 p.m., ESPN. Side note...Interlachen's a great track...it's a shame "The Lezies" are out there hackin it up instead of the men! David Davies!...I mean Laura Davies!


Which one's Laura?

PGA Tour, Buick Open, second round, at Grand Blanc, Michigan, 3 p.m., The Golf Channel

Nationwide Tour, Ford Wayne Gretzky Charity Classic, second round, at Georgian Bay, Ontario, 6:30 p.m., The Golf Channel (same-day tape).

Any other golf tours want me to pimp their events? That's RIDICULOUS!

MLB - Chicago Cubs at Chicago White Sox, 4 p.m., WGN (Is it just me or will the highlight in this one be Pinella and Guillen charging out of the dugout to kick dirt on each other instead of the umps?)



Motor Sports - NASCAR Sprint Cup Lenox Industrial Tools 301, at Loudon, N. H. practice, noon, SPEED Channel, pole qualifying, 3 p.m.

NASCAR Nationwide Series, Camping World RV Sales 200, at Loudon, N.H., Practice, 1:30 p.m., SPEED Channel

Subsequently, Could they make those race sponsor titles any longer? Maybe next week it'll be: "The CAT Diesel Construction Vehicles Rental Center located at 5230, South West Canyon Boulevard near the I-77 overpass, 5 miles Southeast of Charlotte North Carolina 400".

GREAT! Now if I need a back hoe...I don't have to Map Quest it!

Tennis - Wimbledon Championships, early round, at Wimbledon, England, 7 a.m.

Memo to the WTA or whoever the hell the governing body for professional tennis is: No Maria Sharapova...NO VIEWERS! People don't tune in to watch tennis...they tune in to watch that lovely young woman grunt and sweat in those skimpy little outfits! Just a suggestion, you may want to go "NBA" and start fixing some of her matches to keep her in the tournament a little longer!


"See what I mean???"

Saturday June 28th:

Arena Football - Wild Card Playoffs, Colorado at Utah, 4 p.m., ESPN

Boxing - Lightweights, champion David Diaz vs. Manny Pacquiao, for WBC title, Las Vegas. 9 p.m., HBO pay-per-view

Golf (The Cliff Notes) - European Tour, 8 a.m., The Golf Channel (Same-day tape)

Champions Tour, 1 p.m., The Golf Channel

PGA Tour, 3 p.m., CBS

U.S. Women's Open Championship, 3 p.m., NBC

Nationwide Tour, 6:30 p.m., The Golf Channel (same-day tape)

Horse racing - Hollywood Gold Cup, at Inglewood, California, 7 p.m., ESPN2 (This is one of those "Relationship Friendly" opportunities!)

MLB - New York Yankees at New York Mets or Chicago Cubs at Chicago White Sox, 3:30 p.m., Fox

Motor Sports - NASCAR Sprint Cup, practice, 9 a.m. and 11:30 a.m., SPEED Channel.

NASCAR Nationwide Series, pole qualifying, 10 a.m., SPEED. Race, 3 p.m., ABC.

NASCAR Craftman Truck Series O'Reilly 200, Memphis, pole qualify, 6 p.m., SPEED Channel. Race, 9 p.m., SPEED Channel.

IRL IndyCar Series, Sun Trust Indy Challenge, Richmond, 8 p.m., ESPN.

NHRA Powerade Drag Racing Series, Summit Racing Equipment Nationals, qualifying, Norwalk, Ohio, 10 p.m., ESPN2 (same day tape).
...yet another "Relationship Friendly" segment of your weekend.

AMA Toyota Motocross Championship, Lakewood, Colorado, 11:30 p.m., SPEED Channel (same-day tape)

...I don't want any hate mail from angry women...I'm clearing up your man's sports viewing calendar with every key stroke!

Tennis - Wimbledon Championships, early rounds, 8 a.m., ESPN2 (live); noon, NBC (live and same-day tape); 3 p.m., ESPN2 (same-day tape).

On second thought...that brunette Communist is pretty hot too!



Track and Field - US Olympic trials, Eugene, Oregon, 8 p.m., NBC

...may I suggest dinner and a movie instead! Or, if you're single...take the lapper in the bathroom with you and have "date night" with Coop's tennis darling's and Derek's latest F3W installment!

Sunday June 29th:

Cycling - American Eagle Outfitters Tour of Pennsylvania, Final stage, at Pittsburgh, 5:30 p.m., Versus

Aim high Versus...Aim high...what's next? Handicapped Curling?

Consequently, for any of our readers that are currently unemployed. I would imagine the Director of Programming gig at Versus will be open soon...keep an eye out!

Golf (Do I really have to do this again?) - PGA European Tour, 8 a.m., The Golf Channel (same-day tape)

Champions Tour, 1 p.m., The Golf Channel

PGA Tour, 3 p.m. CBS

U.S. Women's Open Championship, 3 p.m., NBC

Nationwide Tour, 6:30 p.m., The Golf Channel (same-day tape)

MLB - New York Yankees at New York Mets, TBS, 1 p.m.

Chicago Cubs at Chicago White Sox, ESPN 8 p.m.

Motor Sports - NASCAR Sprint Cup, 2 p.m., TNT

Hannspree FIM World Superbike Championship, at San Marino, 3 p.m., SPEED Channel (same-day tape)...I'm trying to stay subdued, but the anticipation of this event is unbearable to keep under wraps!

NHRA Powerade Drag Racing Series, Summit Racing Equipment Nationals, final eliminations, 7 p.m., ESPN2 (same-day tape)...wait a minute...the "FINAL ELIMINATION" designation of this event just trumped the anticipation level of the last one...just when I thought I couldn't get any more excited...BOOM..."FINAL ELIMINATION"!

Soccer - Major League Soccer, Los Angeles at D.C. United, noon, ABC
...BTW, wouldn't it be appropriate to call that league "Minor League Soccer", since none of the best players in the world play in it? Just a thought.

UEFA Euro 2008, Championship match, Spain vs. Germany, Vienna, 2:30 p.m., ABC

Swimming - U.S. Olympic Trials, Omaha, 8 p.m., NBC...another chance for some luvin ladies!

Tennis - Wimbledon Championships, early round, noon, NBC (live and same-day tape)...I'm "PULLIN" for Ana Ivanovic!

Track and Field - U.S. Olympic trials, 7 p.m., NBC...to quote Flavor Flav..."YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!!"

-Coop

Sports Whiteout? Try Wipeout!

A few posts ago, Coop posed the question as to what there is to watch during the dog days of sports television that we currently find ourselves in.

I have the answer.

The television show is called Wipeout.

It debuted last night on ABC, and it was absolutely riveting! To be honest, I've possibly NEVER laughed as hard as I did for the entire episode. Usually, my beautiful wife goes to sleep before I do, and it is then when I watch the bulk of television. For several moments last night, I was afraid my boisterous laughter was going to wake her up, but thankfully for me, it didn't.

The premise of the show is very simple. 24 contestants start out competing in an obstacle course, each contestant is timed, and the top 12 move on to the second round, which is just another obstacle course. After the 12 has been trimmed to 6, the third round is similar to the first. But this time, the obstacle course is much more difficult.

In fact, ALL of the obstacle courses are designed to be nearly impossible to complete without....well....wiping out. Thus the name of the show.

You would think that watching contestant after contestant falling, face planting, and numerous other things, that it would wear thin fairly quickly. But you would be wrong.

It just doesn't get old watching people eat it, and eat it HARD!

I know, I know, it's not technically a sport, but it definitely requires athletic talent to continue to pick yourself up from busting your ass. And there is a TON of that.

But the real sports tie in lies in one of the co-hosts of the show. He is John Anderson, a current SportsCenter anchor in the late evenings, and one of my personal favorites.(see picture below)

The other co-host is John Henson.(see pic below) You may remember John Henson from his days hosting the ever popular Talk Soup. He took over immediately after Greg Kinnear left.

The two Johns offer hilarious commentary to the already funny show, thereby making it my new favorite television show, and my "sport" that will tide me over until football season starts.

If you missed the show, go to ABC.com and check out the full episode.
Just make sure that you watch it where you are allowed the freedom to laugh out loud, repeatedly.

Derek

Imus-t Shut Up!

These are the weeks that bloggers LIVE FOR!

Don Imus, Adam (I used to be "Pacman") Jones, Shaq V. Kobe...and the beauty of sports is that more fodder for blogging will float to the surface before we can cover all these topics!

I'll leave some work for my co-authors...but today I'll take on what I think is one of the world's "Least Sexy People"...Mr. Imus.

Let's get started by examining a couple of Don's less than stellar moments on the airwaves.





...and



Well, I guess we can state the obvious. Don Imus is an ignorant, old, crusty, insensitive racist. I was willing to give him a break after the Rutgers incident. Chalk it up to having a bad day. I called it his "Michael Richards" moment. Maybe he was due for a new sensitivity class. Who knows?

...but less than a year removed from those remarks, he asks his co-hort in studio "What color is he?" Are you sure you don't want to think about that first Don? You're just gonna "go there" without any hesitation?

Then the dude says "He's African American"...and at that moment, I'm pullin for the guy to stick a sock in Don's mouth. Because if he asks the question "What color is he?"...you know he's not gonna be shy with the follow up comment!!! "Oh well...there ya go! Now you know" he says. WOW! Don, do you value being employed?

I think "W" said it best...




Sorry about that folks...anyway...

I think what "W" is trying to say is that no one should trust Don after this second transgression! Don't even bother apologizing this time, you're not gonna convince us that you made a "bad decision" or "it just slipped out"...just come out and say I don't like black people! Take your severance check and GO THE F*CK AWAY!!!

Now, I know this is a sports blog and I just dabbled in a social issue...however, seeing as how both of Don's "Victims" were from the athletic fraternity, I feel it has a place on this page.


"The Choir Boy"

Did anyone hear Pacman's...I mean Adam Jones response?

"I'm truly upset about the comments," Jones said. "Obviously Mr. Imus has problems with African-Americans. I'm upset, and I hope the station he works for handles it accordingly. I will pray for him."

Really? Hey Adam, don't you mean "Pay for him"...as in the cover to get into the "Scrip club"?

Don, I wouldn't bank on a trip to the pearly gates based on the "prayers" of Mr. Jones...not because he's African American...but because he's a THUG...and those come in all shapes and colors!

-Coop

Thanks, Warren.

I graduated high school with Warren Sapp. Of course, those who knew him, knew him as "Sappdog".
I was in Mrs. Grasso's general math class, 2nd period, ninth grade. So was Warren. Back then, I just knew him as a class clown, a guy who could make people laugh all the time, while finding new and inventive ways to not do his schoolwork. That attribute I admired greatly in that class, because I hate math. It was the only class that I had that wasn't an honors class, and I felt a little out of place since all the other kids I went to school with were in algebra or geometry or something like that. So for one period a day, I was seated next to this funny, and sometimes obnoxious guy.
I didn't know then that he would turn out to be the kind of football player he would eventually become, and to be honest, I don't think he did either. Nor do I think he cared much.
In fact, I didn't think most of those kids in that class would ever live long enough to see graduation. Every day there was a classmate of ours with a subpoena as a witness to a murder, robbery, or shooting. Warren lived in the bad side of town, and I used to be petrified to hear some of the stories that I heard in 2nd period.
Stories of drive-by's, carjackings, muggings, and all kind of other stuff. And I mean ALL KINDS of other stuff.
So, it wasn't until I decided to join the marching band that I noticed how talented of an athlete he was. I come from a musical family, and I followed both of my older brothers' footsteps by joining the marching band. But as far as being a "band geek", I was the furthest thing from it. I did two things while I was in marching band:
1. Position myself close to the dance corps (the hottest girls in the school).
2. Actually watch the football game.

And Warren Sapp dominated.
But as a defensive lineman?
Not even close.

He played tight end, defensive line, offensive line, and I kid you not, he even punted the ball.
In one game, our quarterback dropped a pass over the middle to a double covered Sappdog playing tight end. Warren layed out for it, and made a fingertip diving catch.
My jaw hit the ground.
Later, the drive fizzled out, and on 4th down, Warren kicked a 57 yard punt to pin our opponent inside their own 10 yard line. Then, my jaw made like a slinky down the bleachers.
I couldn't believe the athletic talent he had, and he was only in 10th grade at the time.

As a junior, I decided to try out for the varsity basketball team. At the time, I was about 6' 2", and pretty decent. I could handle the ball pretty well for a power forward, and I had developed a mid range jump shot that I could consistently bury. And rebounding and overall defense was my pride and joy.
I made the team, and everything was great.
Until the football coach decided that he wanted Warren to play basketball during the off season to keep his conditioning up.
Warren Sapp. 6' 4" pushing about 250 to 270 lbs. depending on the day, and I had to face him during scrimmages. You can imagine my excitement. Or sheer terror, whatever you want to call it.
There's a lot I could say, but I'll just leave you with the last basketball play I ever made in high school.
Warren was on offense on the low post, and I had the pleasure of trying to keep him out of the paint. Did I mention that I only weighed about 150 lbs?
So you could imagine the scene.
Anyway, a shot went up, and I had perfect position on him to get the rebound. Needless to say, he went up over me, got the rebound, came down and dribbled once or twice, and then spun around baseline and dunked two handed all over my shocked face. I didn't think that there was any way a man that large could jump that high.
From that day forward, my career as the new varsity volleyball captain took shape.

Whatever you may think about Warren Sapp, because people either loved him or hated him, I loved what he did for the Tampa Bay Bucs, and for football in general.
I'll always remember him jawing with Brett Favre, the golden boy of the NFL during those times, and I loved it.
Warren retired earlier this year.
And I think he had a great career.

Even though he did posterize me on the basketball court.

Thanks for the memories Warren.....well......most of them anyway.


Derek

Dog Days of Summer

As I was putting together the "Burnin up the Set" (BUTS) piece last week it became painfully obvious that we, the avid sports fans, are in sports viewing HELL!!!

These days, I find myself digging for reports from NFL "O.T.A's". Which rookies are looking good? How are last years injured stars recovering? Which free agent acquisitions seem to be panning out?

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?", my girlfriend says to me. "It's like watching paint dry!". No honey, that's what the rest of the sports viewing landscape is like right now.

Let's break it down shall we...

Major League Baseball...

I don't know about the rest of you, but the novelty of inter league play wore off with me about 8 hours after it started. Texas V. Houston, Baltimore V. Washington...RIVETING...put down the remote, I could watch this for hours!!!

The All Star game is a joke, and so is the fact that home field advantage in the world series is given to the winner. I always feel bad for the National League team who has to play game seven in the American League park because some yahoo from a cellar dweller struck out in the ninth inning with the bases loaded at the "Some Star Game". That and the DH will be topics for future articles!

Baseball won't be meaningful until mid August...so don't try to sell it to me in any other form until then!

The WNBA (Women No Basketball Allowed). Unbelievable! Any other business with the same characteristics would have folded 18 times by now. Why does David Stern continue to keep this league alive? Does he plan to lean on the "Lesbian vote" as he runs for President in 2012?

I can just picture the business plan meetings. "OK, we'll field 14 teams, comprised of the best former Division I women's players in the country. It will be a fundamentally sound brand of basketball, but not real big on highlights or excitement. We'll name the franchises something closely related to the NBA team that plays in the same city. They'll play a 36 game schedule with minimal television coverage in front of empty arenas. The league will hemorrhage cash at an alarming rate due to a lack of merchandising revenue and the high cost of travel and venue operations."

"Before we move forward does anyone have any concerns?"...Insert bad business decision joke here!

One more thing before I get off the carpet munching association...please don't try to justify your existence every time one of your players dunks a ball!!! For God sakes...they're 6'8"-6'9" amazons, I'd be more shocked if they couldn't dunk the ball! And just because you scrape one over the rim doesn't mean that you're ready to show up Kobe or Lebron just yet! When one of your "High Flyer's" can jump over something a little taller than a midget on his knees...come talk to me!

Actually...I think they're called "Little People"

European Soccer...OK here's where all my sensitivity goes right out the F*cking window. I don't know who's playing in this "Euro-trash 2008"...I don't know why it's so damn important. I thought it was the World Cup and then too bad for all the loser nations...wait for your turn in four more years. Get it Europe? Winner gets the glory, Losers go home and get better or get your @$$ kicked again! The NFL doesn't have a game after the Superbowl for the teams who weren't good enough to win. There's no "America's World Series" for the two teams that lost in the League Championship series'. Lastly, I might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I don't have any freaking idea where some of these countries are! Turkey...umm, I think you're north of Italy and east of Spain...but that's about as close as it's going to get for me. With that said, how in the hell do you expect me to keep track of 11 players whose names consist of 12 consonants and 1 vowel (Sabrz Sarnzgluptmf) WTF? Seriously, they look like menu items at the Greek joint down the street from my house. Europe, a couple ideas for the next generation...Ben, Joe, Steve, Bill (I'm tryin to keep it one syllable for yall...nothin too crazy!).

Pictured above "Sabrz Sarnzgluptmf" after successfully kicking an opposing player in the balls.

All that to say "Euro 2008" is adding to the barren sports viewing landscape this summer!

What else do we have here...

Ah, NASCAR. It pains me to write this but it's true. NASCAR and their "Car of Tomorrow" (COT...which incidentally is what you need in order to make it through one of these race telecasts anymore) has taken a step back. Remember, the two main benefits of changing to this car? 1. Driver Safety and 2. More competitive racing (side by side, easier to pass the car in front of you without the dreaded "Aero push").

Well the good news is...no one has died in the COT. The bad news is, you still can't pass the car in front of you. Hell, you basically have to wreck a guy to get around him. All I hear in the garage these days is...I can't get the car to turn! At least with the old car only half the garage was saying that. Back to the drawing board NASCAR...your product is getting worse instead of better and come September...your sport will fade into obscurity at the hands of the NFL!

Hey honey...how fast was Darren McFadden's shuttle drill?

-Coop

F3W

Well, it's finally here. Another Friday, and yet another F3W.
Last week, I had the courage to show my wife the initial installment of this weekly piece.
I was sure to be doing dishes and profusely apologizing for weeks. I also fully expected her to disapprove of me doing this, but to be totally honest, she didn't have a problem with it in the slightest.

Did I mention I have the best wife in the world? Well if I didn't......I have the best wife in the world.
Hopefully, you all enjoyed Andrea Rincon last week. If you have never seen her before, you can thank me for your new addiction.

To keep this somewhat a sports theme, here is a nugget for you, the F.S.U. Cowgirls.

But to keep things more interesting, because I know that if you follow sports, you have probably seen these girls before.

What I'm trying to do is to show you some women you may not have seen before. It's going to be tough to find week after week, so I'm open for suggestions. If there is a particular woman you would like to see showcased, leave a comment, and I will do the hard research, no pun intended.



I will leave you with a video of girls from the ever popular MySpace.com.
By the way, if you have stumbled on this site, and you appreciate what you are seeing, let us know. Leave us a comment. Visit our sponsors. But most importantly, enjoy this video of some smoking hot women!




Derek

Burnin up the Set...

I'm gonna take a page out of my buddy Derek's playbook and give you Sports fans something to check out every Friday from here on out.

I have to admit, it's not going to be near as cool as "F3W" (Reference Andrea Rincon if you want further proof of that!)

In an installment I'm gonna call "Burnin up the Set", I'll try to give you Sports Junkies the best (and maybe worst) things that you could watch on TV this weekend.

Friday:

Boxing - Heavyweights, Alonzo Butler vs. Friday Ahunanya, in Las Vegas, ESPN2, 9 p.m.

and for those viewers who get Showtime...

Andre Ward vs. Jerson Ravelo, for vacant NABO super middleweight title; junior middleweights, Ronald Hearns (Hitman's Kid?) vs. Jose Luis Gonzalez, in George Town, Cayman Islands, Showtime, 11 p.m.

College Baseball - PING!!!!!! College Wold Series from Omaha Nebraska, No. 2 North Carolina vs. No. 7 LSU, 7 p.m., ESPN (elimination game).

Golf - Travelers Championship 2nd round from Cromwell Connecticut. Coverage starts at 3 p.m. on the Golf Channel. On a side note...if you're watching an insignificant golf tournament, without Tiger Woods in the field...please acquire a life NOW!

MLB - The battle of "The Windy City" Cubs V. White Sox. Coverage starts at 2:10 p.m. on WGN.

NASCAR - Qualifying for the Toyota/Save Mart 350, in Sonoma, California starts at 7 p.m. on the Speed Channel (For all our "Appalachian Oriented" readers).

Soccer - I'm trying to reach out here to our European brothers (cuz God knows I won't be watching!!!). UEFA Euro 2008, quarterfinal, Croatia vs. Turkey, in Vienna, ESPN, 2:30 p.m. Hey, I better start seeing some interest from our international fans...or this Soccer SH!T's gonna come to an end REAL QUICK!!!

Saturday:

Boxing - Middleweights, Arthur Abraham vs. Edison Miranda; middleweights, Giovanni Lorenzo vs. Raul Marquez, in Hollywood, Fla., Showtime, 9 p.m.

Andre Berto vs. Miki Rodriguez, for vacant WBC welterweight title; heavyweights, Chris Arreola vs. Chazz Witherspoon, in Memphis, HBO, 10 p.m.

Bull Riding - YEEHAW!!! PBR Built Ford Tough Series, Dickies American Worker of the Year Invitational, in Dallas, Versus, 8 p.m. Seriously, Versus...you go from NHL Playoff games to something else no one watches! Are you not interested in ratings?

Golf - For all of you who didn't get a life last night you can watch the 3rd round of The Travelers...CBS 3 p.m.

Diving - U.S. Olympic Trials, in Indianapolis, NBC, 3:30 p.m.

Gymnastics - U.S. Olympic Trials, men's finals, in Philadelphia, NBC, 4:30 p.m.

OK, don't tune me out after those last two...if you need a good nap on Saturday afternoon, turn on NBC...your wife will be enamored with your selection...and you get a solid two hours of uninterrupted sleep. Everybody wins!

MLB - White Sox vs. Cubs, WGN, 1 p.m.

Regional coverage, Cardinals vs. Red Sox or Indians vs. Dodgers, Fox, 3:30 p.m.

Soccer - UEFA Euro 2008, quarterfinal, Netherlands vs. Russia, in Basel, Switzerland, ABC, 2:30 p.m. I really want some lunatic soccer fan to leave a comment can't you tell???!!!

Sunday:

Arena Football - Dallas vs. Chicago, ESPN2, 4 p.m. (For those of us who can't wait until early September!)

Diving - NAP TIME! U.S. Olympic Trials, in Indianapolis, NBC, 3 p.m.

Golf - Travelers Championship, final round, CBS, 3 p.m. (Seriously people, if you're still watching this tournament...your TV better be broken with CBS being the only channel you get reception).

Gymnastics - U.S. Olympic Trials, women's finals, in Philadelphia, NBC, 7 p.m. (This can go one of two ways...naps or soft porn for pedophiles...I'm just sayin).

MLB - Cardinals vs. Red Sox, TBS, 1:30 p.m.

White Sox vs. Cubs, ESPN, 8 p.m.

Motor Sports - FIA Formula One World Championship, French Grand Prix, Fox, 1 p.m. Again reaching out to the European market. An interesting side benefit, have you seen the girls that are in victory lane at those Formula One races? Derek, I think there are a couple candidates for F3W...seriously hot!

NASCAR Sprint Cup, Toyota/Save Mart 350, TNT, 5 p.m. (To complete your weekend of single file racing!)

Soccer: - UEFA Euro 2008, quarterfinal, Spain vs. Italy, in Vienna, ESPN, 2:30 p.m.

Men's World Cup qualifier, USA vs. Barbados, in Bridgetown, Barbados, ESPN Classic, 3 p.m. (A seriously sad commentary on the state of US Soccer popularity when our national team gets bumped to ESPN Classic for a World Cup Qualifier!)

Happy Viewing!

Coop

The Most Famous Knee in America?

Is anyone else sick of hearing about Tiger Woods' knee? Maybe it's just me, but enough already. Yes, it was an amazing performance this weekend. Yes, it was actually entertaining theater.

But it sure looked like Tiger could squat when reading his putts. I have a bad knee, and when I play golf and it is flairing up, I can't bend all the way over to read my putt. Could there possibly have been, I don't know, maybe, a little teeny weeny bit of "milking it" going on?

I actually enjoyed watching Tiger play this weekend. What he did on Saturday was incredible. But on Sunday, I remembered why I root against this guy. In the fairway bunker on 18, forced to lay up, he threw his club at his bag when his layup went into the rough. Moments later, when his birdie putt caught the right edge of the cup and fell in to force the playoff, he celebrated with one of those Tiger convulsion double fist pumps (incidentally, the knee looked fine at that moment). I've always thought it is better to "act like you've been there before", especially if you've been there, like, 13 other times.

Anyway, I sort of got off track there. The point is, enough about the knee. I do not need any more 24 hour coverage.

OCHO "SINK-O"!

Coop's back and unfortunately for Chad Johnson...I'm not here to pass out hugs!
Listen, no one loves "85" more than me. You can ask the guys in my fantasy league "The L.O.T. (League of Todd)", I have either drafted Chad or traded for him each of the last 3 years.

Why, you ask? Well, for starters...you can pencil him in for 90+ catches 1,400+ yards and between 8-10 TD's every year. I haven't done all the research, but I figure that probably puts him in the top five somewhere with guys like Harrison, Holt, T.O. and Steve Smith. Not bad company when you're talkin about a #1 fantasy wide receiver.

Secondly, I do enjoy the fun he brings to the "No Fun League" (NFL). You can't tell me you're not just a little curious about what "85's" gonna do the next time he crosses the goal line? The Irish Jig, the sign buried in the snow that read "Dear NFL, Please don't fine me for this." CLASSIC! Using the pylon as a putter and going "Tiger" on the football.

All that being said, Chad's antics off the field are wearing thin with me. This off season he's been engaging the media to try and strong arm a trade out of Cincinnati, saying that obviously the Bengals aren't committed to winning so they should give him the opportunity to go win somewhere else. I think Cincinnati's GM's still waiting for the phone to ring and it's been about 5 months now...and I don't think selling a pro bowl wide receiver is as hard as selling a house these days!

Umm Chad...I've got a couple things for you to ponder while you're waiting for that Super Bowl contender to come make you an offer.

1. CANCER! Teams THINK YOU ARE ONE. Why would a team with perfect chemistry bring in a self centered attention WHORE, who's gonna cry when they don't get 10 balls and a score every Sunday?

2. Maybe try actually CATCHING some more of those balls that come your way. I don't know, call me crazy but an elite receiver should actually hang onto the football after they get hit by a defender or the ground!

3. While you've got some time, maybe cancel a few of those "Trade me...or else" interviews, and curl up with your playbook for a couple hours. I need about two more sets of hands to count the number of times you ran the wrong route last year! AND NO, it wasn't Carson's fault...TJ "WHO's YOUR MAMA" always seemed to be where the ball was thrown! CHAMPIONSHIP!

4. Take that F*CKING FAKE @$$ GRILL out of your mouth. YOU AINT HARD!!! Every time I turn around, you're limpin off the field cryin for an I.V.!!!



5. Stop blaming the defense for losing ball games! Yes it would help if they'd stop: Smoking dope, Beating their girlfriends, Getting into fights at clubs, Buying Alcohol for teenage girls, Drinking and driving...but maybe if you: Caught more balls, Scored more TD's, Ran the right routes, Spent less time on the training table (during games), you'd stop being part of the problem and start being part of the solution!

6. Stop hating your coach. If you REALLY want to get back at Marvin Lewis...go out and catch 120 balls for 1,600 yards and 20 TD's...and at the end of the season when the Bengals are 6-10, walk into his office and say..."SCOREBOARD B*TCH!!!".

Who's gonna cover "85" in 2008? If you don't start being a better football player...I don't know...probably EVERYBODY!!!

What's next? Are we gonna see you race "Big Brown"? They can call it "OCHO HAS BEEN" VS. "BIG DISAPPOINTMENT"...THE CLASH OF THE UNDERACHIEVERS!

Chad, you may want to put that Hall of Fame jacket back in the closet. Start being a better team mate, and CATCH THE D^MN BALL...and then MAYBE, JUST MAYBE...Canton will come calling.

-Coop

Boxing's Hope

I have been a boxing fan for the last decade. My father used to watch boxing all the time, and I used to give him a hard time about it. I used to tell my father that boxing was a stupid sport, and it was a waste of time to even watch it.

In truth, I was always a little interested in the sport, but I would have never said anything to my father about it, after I gave him such a hard time.

Mike Tyson came along, and being an avid video game player, I played Puch Out on the Nintendo until my fingers cramped up. So, I guess a video game is what got me first interested in the sport.

But just as I started to get into the sport, Mike Tyson bit Evander Holyfield's ear off. And, while it was an interesting thing to read and talk about, it ultimately turned me off to boxing. Then, Don King's face being all over the place and dominating much of the boxing news and reports of fixes, corruption, and horrible judges decisions, was the final blow to my fledgling following of the sport of boxing.

But then came July 13, 2001.

On this day, I happened to tune in to ESPN's Friday Night Fights. That night, boxing came back to life for me. The fight was between Micky Ward and Emmanuel Augustus, and I have to say (as corny as this is going to sound) that I was truly inspired. In fact, I'll even go so far as to say that I was moved emotionally from watching this fight. I have never, EVER, seen two athletes pour out their lives like that to a sport that they loved.

In fact, after watching that fight, I made decisions in my life based on the heart, strength, and determination that I witnessed between these two men.

In fact, I woke my wife up to tell her what I had just seen, and how much it had affected me. She said something along the lines of, "What? Are you nuts? I'm trying to sleep! We can talk about a stupid boxing match in the morning. Go to sleep!".

Micky Ward went on to fight three more fights against Arturo Gatti, and unbelievably, those fights were pretty much the same as the Augustus fight. Unreal. In fact, Micky Ward has been in three fights that were named "Fight of the Year", and even "Fight of the Century" for the first fight against Gatti.

In his first fight against Gatti, the 9th round was considered by most as "Round of the Century".

Judge for yourself.

Micky Ward and Arturo Gatti have since both retired, and I found myself getting tired of the antics of Floyd Mayweather and the other boxers of the more recent past.
I was looking for another fighter to make me care about boxing like Micky Ward and Arturo Gatti did.
I found him.

Kelly Pavlik.

Kelly Pavlik is probably THE BEST boxer I have ever seen. One look at him, and you think to yourself, " This guy is a wimp". But then you watch him fight, and he totally destroys people. I don't mean that he beats his opponents, he absolutely DESTROYS them. He has one of the most powerful punches that I have ever seen, and that includes Mike Tyson.

But the beautiful thing about Kelly Pavlik?

He's modest. He's humble. He's no flash. He's all about heart, determination, and the will to win.

He's my personal inspiration right now in my life, and I want to turn you all on to him. If you have never seen this man fight, you need to, because he is truly one of the all time greats, even now early in his career.

And boxing needs him right now. With things like Mixed Martial Arts now invading on network television, boxing needs someone to elevate its game.

Kelly Pavlik is that man.
And I am a dedicated fan to him, and the sport of boxing.

If you've never gotten into the sport of boxing, you have your reason.
His name is Kelly Pavlik.

Derek

Inspiration Personafied!

I'll apologize up front. My last couple articles haven't been the hard hitting, sarcasm riddled, spit your soda all over your keyboard from laughing efforts that people are used to seeing from me.

Please bare with me as I must indulge in one more serious piece before I get back to smacking spoiled professional athletes.

ESPN ran a story on this young man from western Pennsylvania by the name of John Challis, and I had to put it out there for everyone else to appreciate. John recently graduated from Freedom high school a member of the varsity baseball team, but that's not the accomplishment that this 18 year old should be most proud of.

You see, John is an inspiration. Not to a few friends or his immediate family. He's an inspiration to all of us. John lives his life by this simple equation...Courage + Believe = Life. As he puts it, "If you have the Courage to do something and Believe you can do it...that's Living!"
Ironic that John should be such an authority on living as that's the one thing he is not guaranteed to do for very much longer!

John has Cancer, in his liver and in his lungs. His 5'5" 93 pound frame has been given 2 months to live...but in John's eternal optimism he tells his mother that he thinks he can stretch it out to at least 2 more years!

John has spent the better part of the last year talking to his class mates, team mates, opposing players, coaches, the media and even his father about the way he approaches his life and giving them things they can take away from those discussions and apply to their own lives.

He stays up late every night with his father mentoring him on topics ranging from what he wants people to learn from his life after he's gone to how his dad needs to watch his weight because he needs to be there for the rest of the family.

When asked what makes him mad John says, "If I'm mad at anything in this, it's that I'm not going to be able to have a son, I'm not going to be able to get married and have my own house," he said, fighting back tears again. "Those are the things I'm mad about. But not dying". "Life aint about how many breaths you take it's what you do with those breaths that matters."

John doesn't just talk the talk...he walks the walk! As the season was winding down, John told his baseball coach that he'd really like to play in 1 more competitive game before his high school career was over. Coach Wetzel granted John his wish. In the 4th inning of a close ballgame John was inserted as a pinch hitter with a man on third. First pitch swinging, John hit a line drive into right field. One more obstacle presented itself to John as he realized he now has to run to first base. A task that is not so easy now that the cancer has spread to his pelvis. After a few tense seconds, the crowd collectively holding their breath, John arrives at first base...safe...with a run scoring single. Without a dry eye in the house the entire field erupts in applause. Players and coaches from both teams pour out of the dugouts to give John personal congratulations. Realizing his dream of playing and contributing in one last game with his team, John let out a huge yell "I did it...I did it!"

Yes you did John, you've done more than you will ever know!





-Coop

Fabulous Fictitious Friday Women

I have decided to start a weekly segment entitled, "Fabulous Fictitious Friday Women", or for what from here on out I will simply call "F3W".

Let's face it, after a long week of hard work, everyone deserves to look at a beautiful woman, or in some cases, women.

I have strategically placed the word "fictitious" in the title, because not if, but when my wife views this new segment for the first time, I need to make it clear to her that these women are NOT real.

They are all fake.

Seriously honey.(speaking to my wife)

It's all computer generated stuff....you wouldn't understand.......it's very computer, nerdy, geeky, complicated computer jargon.

Anyway. What was I saying?

Oh yeah, so F3W will occur every Friday unless I'm busy. It would have been posted earlier, but my internet was down all day at the office.

The first F3W girl......I mean computer animated girl.......has been named Andrea Rincon by her programmer.

Happy Friday!

(speaking to my wife again) Seriously babe, you know you are the most beautiful woman in the world............okay. I'll do the dishes.

Derek

"Rays" of hope?

Allow me to introduce you to the new Major League Baseball team on the west coast of Florida.

...The Tampa Bay Rays.

No, Bud Selig didn't take his head out of the "Mitchell Report" in an effort to expand the league again. This team has always been here...well...sort of.

For the past 10 years the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, have toiled in absolute obscurity in the cellar of the American League East, playing the role of perennial door mat for the Yankees and Red Sox to wipe their cleats on. Year after year, journeyman ball players long past their prime were brought in to give the fan base in Tampa something to cling to for the first two weeks of April. By May 1st , the team was 15 games out of first place and the local sports media started to cover Tampa Bay Buccaneer spring football practices.

Names like Jose Canseco, Greg Vaughn and Fred McGriff all paraded their overpriced bats through the clubhouse at Tropicana field with no stats, and more importantly, no wins to show for it.

Thankfully, those days are long gone!

Through an effort that can be best termed as "Addition by Subtraction", the Rays (no longer of the satanic variety) are making their mark on the American League and look to be in a position to do so for many years to come.

The first instance of Addition by Subtraction (ABS for the remainder of the article) was a change in ownership, and along with that a change in philosophy. No more bringing in 40 year old sluggers looking for that last big paycheck. New ownership placed an emphasis on building a strong minor league system through the draft, and the results of that effort are starting to show. Young stars like center fielder BJ Upton and rookie third baseman Evan Longoria (who has drawn comparisons to the Mets David Wright), are leading a youth movement in Tampa that's taking the league by storm.

Pitching ace Scott Kazmir (pictured above), along with James Shields and 2007 #1 overall draft pick David Price have Rays fans envisioning the second coming of Maddox, Smoltz and Glavine.

The next "ABS" the ball club made was parting ways with players who possessed some "character issues". Delmon Young, notorious for throwing a bat at a minor league umpire after a called third strike was sent to Minnesota in exchange for slick fielding short stop Jason Bartlett and starting pitcher Matt Garza. Elijah Dukes, best known for threatening to kill his girlfriend was sent packing to the Nationals in exchange for...well...who cares...he's gone and that's one less distraction for your team!

The final "ABS" was the name change. I know it sounds silly to think that a team changes its name and as a result suddenly they're contenders. But listening to this group of players, they look at it as an opportunity to wipe the slate clean. Doing away with 10 years of frustration and losing, and starting a whole new chapter of professional baseball in Tampa Bay.

At the time this article was written, the Rays have a record of 38-28, 2.5 games behind Boston and 4.5 games ahead of New York in the AL East standings. So I say, DON'T SLIP "Evil Empire" and "Red Sox Nation"...these aren't your daddy's Devil Rays...these are The Rays...and they're for real!

-Coop

The Root of all Evil

I know that I have been negative in my last few posts, but I'll get over it soon. In the meantime, I need to get something off of my chest that has been bothering me for some time now as it relates to sports.

Real fast, I'm 34 years old. Married. One stepson, 12, and one daughter, 2. The key to this post is my 12 year old stepson. He's a super, super great kid, and I wish I could say that he was my own flesh and blood. He's probably the nicest, most polite 12 year old you will ever meet, and I mean that with all sincerity. I also have the unique oportunity to be non biased about it, because of the very fact that he is NOT my flesh and blood, thusly allowing me to be more critical of him beyond when his mothers' natural defense mechanism kicks in.

Sports is not a major focus of his life. That's not to say that he doesn't enjoy watching sports on t.v. or even participating at school. But he would rather occupy his time doing other things. He's more of a creative type, and I think that is an awesome quality in him.

Now where is this going? I'm getting there, hang with me for one second.

I want you to watch this next clip off of youtube. But first, let me apologize about the quality of it. It's the only one I could find, and I looked everywhere for it. But even with the poor quality, I think you will get the drift.

Enjoy:




Are you kidding me?

How did this commercial sneak out over the air waives without people losing their minds? Maybe they have, and I just missed it when it first came out, but good grief!

What is this message sending to my 12 year old stepson? Did anyone see the pythons that kid had? This is Pop FRIGGING Warner football. If you pause the video at 12 seconds, you will notice that the kid probably could beat my ass, your ass, and the whole rest of the bus load of obviously petrified teammates.

I bet if the camera panned down at the end, it would show little puddles of urine strategically placed underneath every kid's seat.
This is being sold to our FRIGGING children. Not our teenage children, but we're talking our 7 and 8 year olds.
If you want to be even more frightened, just do a search for the same brand for more commercials, and watch them. But don't watch them in a dark room....alone.

But back to my point. If I were 12 years old today and I saw that commercial?
Dude.
I'm so taking golf lessons it's ridiculous.

How in good faith could I force my 12 year old stepson to go out and compete with kids of today amped up on the "rip your head off" mentality that is apparently so popular? Especially if I had to go helmet to helmet with the manchild on the video, and I'm 34 years old.

But it's that chest-pumping, look at me, cut throat gesture, rip your head off attitude that is permeating throughout almost all sports right now. And it's the root of all evil.
Where is Barry Sanders when you need him?

And what am I supposed to tell my stepson when he says he's too scared to participate in sports at school? Time to hit the clear and the cream?

Or should I just hire a personal bodyguard for him?

Derek

Why I root AGAINST Tiger Woods

My name is LT. This is my first blog. I love sports. I love golf. I root against Tiger Woods.

If you don't know me, you might be thinking two things about me right now. One, I use very short sentences. And two, I must be a racist.

You would be wrong on both accounts. First of all, I can construct very long and well-written sentences. Secondly, I have no problem rooting for Dwight Howard. I even used to watch the Cosby show, for crying out loud.

The reason I root against Tiger is because, in my opinion, for him to lose tournaments is good for the game. Before you tune me out on this, please hear me out. People have always said that Tiger's dominance has taken the game to a new level. I can't argue that point. That is a very true statement. But what about NOW? Is it really good for the game to know the outcome before the ball is teed up? Would the "Who shot JR?" episode of the tv show "Dallas" have been so popular if everyone had already known that the shooter was --wait a minute, who did shoot JR? Hold on, gotta check Wikipedia...

Hmm, turns out it was some chick named Kristin Shepard, who (according to Wikipedia) was "J.R.'s scheming sister-in-law and mistress, who shot him in a fit of anger. J.R. didn't press charges as Kristin claimed she was pregnant with his child as a result of their affair".

As you can see, this horribly old reference to an equally horrible television series proves my point beyond a shadow of a doubt: the intrigue is in the drama, not the outcome. When Tiger is in the lead down the stretch of a major, the intrigue is gone. The only way the tournament could become interesting to me, is if he were to choke. And that just doesn't happen. And so my friends, unil it does, I will continue to root against Tiger Woods.

Oh, and also, I am a Mickleson fan.

Here's hoping this week's US Open is interesting.

Golf...the only "Pure" game left?

With all the talk in sports lately of game fixing, performance enhancers and cheating in general, I thought this was a good opportunity to shine a spotlight on a sport that has yet to fall victim to these ills.

Golf...

Ah, the game that frustrates us amateurs to the point of wanting to wrap our 3 iron around an oak tree after hitting it "Fat" AGAIN...or to toss our driver in the water after our tee shot just achieved "splash down" in that very same "drink".

So why do we keep coming back? I think there's several reasons...probably different for everybody. Of course there's the obligatory "great shot", that you're always trying to replicate (for me it was the 3 wood from 235 out that stopped 8 inches from the hole for eagle on a Par 5).

For some guys (and gals), it's a chance to take a nice walk on some of God's most beautiful acre-age while playing a game that can be fun no matter how you're scoring. Some people think of it as an excuse to legally drink and drive...playing with those folks makes for a LONG DAY ON THE COURSE!!!

But for me, it's the challenge, accountability and integrity of the game that brings me back. How many times have we heard these gems at a team sport post game "presser"?: "I just didn't get any help from my team mates tonight" or "The calls just didn't go my way".

What do you get from Tiger? "I didn't drive it well"... "I didn't hit enough greens in regulation"..."I didn't make any putts". Individual accountability...PERIOD. It's lacking in society, and it's non-existent in the majority of the sporting world.

Integrity...if the fact that most professional sports are void of this entirely isn't painfully obvious to you by now...you've been in a coma for the last couple years! Steroids, game fixing, questionable officiating, instant replay, vague rules (interpreted differently by officials in the same league)...the list goes on and on.

In golf it's simple...count up the strokes it takes you to get the ball from the tee box into the hole. Fewest strokes wins! Oh, and penalties...yes, you call them on yourself. No need for instant replay, if you chuck one in the drink...penalty. If you bounce one off of a spectators dome past the out of bounds stakes...penalty. There's no officials making bad calls, there's no rules that are up for interpretation. The next time you see Dwayne Wade take 4 steps in the lane without putting the ball on the floor, ask yourself..."Does Phil Mickelson get a mulligan off of every tee box because he's a superstar?" The answer is no in case you were still fuzzy.

The timing of this article also finds us in the midst of US Open week at Torrey Pines in San Diego. One of golf's 4 majors and the one I consider to be the toughest to win. If this article hasn't brought about a new appreciation for the game of golf, do yourself a favor and tune in to some of the US Open coverage this weekend...that should do the trick.

All you'll see is the best players in the world playing in conditions that make 15 handicappers like myself ball up in the fetal position and cry...on my shrink's couch...with my thumb in my mouth!

Eight inch deep rough (and that's the fringe). Fairways that measure 20 yards in width and are so firm that most balls bounce right through them and into the afore-mentioned rough. Greens so fast that trying to stop your ball on them has been likened to putting in a bathtub and trying to stop the ball before it gets to the drain!!!

Bottom line folks, in a world where "Champions" are determined by how much TV revenue can be generated, or how many jersey's the league can sell, or which team can field the most chemically enhanced monsters without getting caught...there are still a select group of athletes who earn their accomplishments on the field, with honor, truth and respect for the game that they love...

...GOLFERS!

-Coop

Why it's hard for me to watch basketball anymore.

As soon as I started typing out the title to this post, I immediately felt like an old fuddy-duddy.
I used to love basketball. I have played basketball for years in church leagues, AAU leagues, high school, etc.
I'm not very good, but I'm not very bad either. The point is, I used to love basketball. I grew up watching Bird, Parrish, The Dream, Dr. J, The Mailman, Magic, Isaiah, etc.
To me, watching those guys play was exciting. And I didn't need the public announcer screaming the players' names after every made basket, or the pyrotechnic displays, or the incessant sound effects and noise pumping every frigging second. THE GAME itself was the sideshow, the opening act, the headliner, and the finale.
Today, if I was to go to an actual NBA game, I would be surprised to NOT see a bearded lady, or the incredible stretching man, or some other freakshow attraction. It seems that the game has taken a backseat to nearly everything else.
I don't know if it's because our attention span has gotten so short or what, but I wonder what it would be like if there weren't guys shooting balled-up t-shirts in the stands during time outs. Would people stop coming to the games?
It's not like an NBA game lasts 4 and a half hours or anything.
Seriously. You don't see this in most of the other "main" sports out there. Imagine the same circus show that the NBA puts on every game, and apply it to the Masters golf tourney.
Imagine after Tiger sinks a 30 footer, some 67 year old white guy grabs a microphone and screams, "Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooods!"

It's just stupid.

But I'm off track already. The MAIN reason I find it difficult to watch basketball anymore is because I've lost a feel for the game. The game itself has transformed itself to something I can't even identify with, and that's the problem.
First of all, it would be more appropriate to call it baskootball (a combination of basketball and football). It's ridiculous how physical it's gotten. Now I know that it was just as physical back in the old days, and I get that. I remember Bill Laimbeer and the Bad Boys of Detroit. But that was the exception to the norm as far as the rest of the teams go. Nowadays, if you don't rape your opponent on the court, you are considered "soft".
I have heard that word thrown around so much recently, I want to shoot myself. The Lakers have recently been accused of being "soft" in the first two games of the 2008 Finals.
I heard Stephen A(hole) Smith last night, saying that in the first two games of the series, the Lakers were way too soft.

In other words, the Lakers were still playing basketball, and they needed to start playing more baskootball.
Next time you watch an NBA game, don't follow the ball. Just concentrate your eyes inside the painted area under the rim. It's ridiculous. Then, throw in the officiating, and the joke is complete. The refs watch as limbs are amputated and don't blow the whistle, but then turn right around and call a ticky tack foul, almost like the whole game was scripted. Donaghy anyone?

The bottom line, is that this new brand of baskootball allows NO room for finesse. But don't get me wrong, I don't want ALL finesse. If that were the case, I'd be a WNBA fan, but I'd rather have explosive diarrhea than be a WNBA fan.

It just seems to me that the basketball I grew up watching had the perfect balance of finesse and brute strength. Not one more so than the other.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready to finish my metamucil and watch Jeopardy!

Derek

Launch Party!

It's finally here!
Okay, okay. I know absolutely NOBODY but the authors of this blog are reading this, but that will all change soon enough.

The launch of the first blog of its kind has now come to fruition.
But first things first.

My name is Derek, and I am a sports fan. I'm not a ravenous sports fan, but I'm in the know enough to find my way around most sports conversations that take place around water coolers, warehouse loading docks, and in between shots on the golf course.
Around a decade or so ago, I was introduced to the world of fantasy football. Then, fantasy baseball. Currently, those are the only two sports that I waste my time with as far as fantasy sports goes.
At any rate, some of the guys who were in the same fantasy league with me are very funny characters, and some of the messageboard chatter in our fantasy leagues were funnier than most Sportscenter shows or any sports news column I had read for quite some time.
The local sports radio shows were horrific at best, and finally the entire station was converted to a Spanish music station.

So, like I said, some of the guys in my fantasy leagues have written some stuff on the fantasy messageboard that I thought put the "supposed professionals" to shame.

Then, the idea hit me. Why don't we start a blog? Maybe share some of our sports related humor to the world.

So here we are. My name is Derek. I'll let the other guys introduce themselves, and you'll learn more about me as the blog progresses.
Who knows? I might be the only one posting on here after a while.

So, enjoy. And welcome. We can't suck any worse than what's out there already!

In the beginning...

...there were three. No, this is not gonna be some Penthouse forum about a menage a trois between Ron Mexico and two of his "Lady Pits"...that article comes out in a couple months.

I'm talkin about the original Fictitious Sports Reporters...Derek, Coop and LT (not related to the dude that broke Theismann in half).

For all of you who are privileged enough to stumble across this blog...I say welcome, and enjoy!

Just a random thought about the Belmont (and trust me, this might be the last horse racing post you see here). Big Brown? How bout "Big Brown Eye" or "Big Brown Starfish"...seriously, the only thing left for that horse to do was to run up into the stands, lift his tail and UNLOAD on all those people that threw down hundreds of thousands of dollars on a "Sure Thing". "Big Hype", "Big Letdown"...I know he wasn't "Lame" (by definition alone)...but I would've been lookin for the dude with the shotgun who puts those roided up studs out of their misery!!! Please, no hate mail from PETA or any of you "My little Pony" Freaks. I'm just sayin, I saw more of that horse on ESPN than I did coverage of the NBA Playoffs. It's a HORSE...he'll be in your burrito supreme in 20 years!

Warmest Regards,

Coop